Motherhood, Moods & Your Missing Sex Drive

If you’re a new mom and dealing with unstable moods or a lacking libido, you’re not alone.Unfortunately, the more I hear from hot mamas around the world, the more I hear the same complaints and concerns. Women tell me:

• “I have no energy, no sex drive, and I can’t lose weight!”
• “I’m trying to fake it, but inside I feel MISERABLE! Not in the mood for much of anything…”
• “My baby is 8 months old and I still have no sex drive. Is it the breastfeeding? What can I do?”

Ladies, I hear you! As a mom of a 2 year-old toddler, I have now experienced the postpartum shift for myself and felt, firsthand, how your hormones evolve and change with this huge transformation. After years of helping other women overcome the sex drive downturn, mood swings, and more that can come after motherhood begins, I got the chance to put my teaching into practice for myself and I can say, it truly works!

If you’re ready to change this reality, keep reading because I have great news: the way to get your sex drive back is through sugar – but not in the way you might think! Right now I know you might be turning to sugar (the white stuff) to boost your energy, stay awake, feel up and peppy, and even just for comfort. But I’m no fan of the white stuff and how it wreaks havoc on your hormones and health.

What I actually mean by “sugar” here is that you can improve your sex drive by 50-75% within 2 months by making sure your blood sugar is stable throughout the day and taking the following recommendations. More is outlined in my book WomanCode on stabilizing blood sugar every day and long-term, but I hope this post gives you the head-start you need.

Motherhood & Food

Before I talk about supercharging your sex drive and balancing your moods, let’s talk about why this is all happening in the first place, why exactly you have these concerns and complaints about how you feel as a new mom.

When you’re pregnant, your body is mostly concerned with supplying essential nutrients to your growing baby. If your diet is not adequate during that time, it’s likely that it won’t keep you fully stocked on all the essential nutrients that you need beyond what your baby needs.

As you breastfeed once baby is born, nutrients continue leaving your body if your diet is not restocking them quickly enough. They’re all going to baby, which isn’t leaving enough for you to feel good.

Therefore I would strongly advise you to work on your diet first and foremost. Not only will it keep your cycle regular, but it will protect your bones, your mood, your sex drive, and keep perimenopause progressing slowly. Basically, focusing on eating the right foods and enough of them is going to fix your symptoms short term and benefit your long term health goals.

Synthetic hormones, like the birth control pill or Depo shot, or any of those other hormonal contraceptives women are often offered postpartum to prevent pregnancy and mask symptoms of hormonal imbalance, will not reset you or heal the underlying cause of your issues here, but science shows that food will!

First and foremost, you’ve got to get your blood sugar stabilized throughout the day. Grazing on snacks here and there just will not do. Prioritizing meals for yourself with the right balance of protein and carbohydrates is essential. That means 3 meals per day plus snacks.

This is what I was eating postpartum. It may sound like a lot, but it revved my metabolism, allowing me to lose all my baby weight (60 lbs. of it) within 6 months. Within just 3 months, I’d already lost 40 lbs. So you don’t need to deprive yourself after baby is born, and in fact, if you do - you’ll only suffer with the physical and mental side effects of your body’s deprivation of nutrients.

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Breakfast – Steel cut oats with black sesame seeds, coconut oil, flax, cinnamon, goji berries

Snack – 2 eggs scrambled in coconut oil with turmeric

Lunch – Salmon and quinoa with lentils and fermented sauerkraut

Snack – Avocado on black rice bread

Dinner – Bison/lamb/beef burger with green beans and sweet potato baked ‘fries’

Snack – 2 Dates or dried figs with 3 Squares Dark Chocolate with Mother’s Milk Tea

Snack – Macaroon or gluten-free lactation cookie

Snack – Bone Broth with black rice bread and chicken liver pate

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In addition to changing how and what you eat, I would encourage you to do the following:

• After you eat anything, walk around the block once or up and down a flight of stairs for 5 minutes after a meal. This will turn OFF the fat storage program in your body and cause you to start using calories for fuel. Lowering body fat will absolutely help reduce estrogen dominance issues that are contributing to your low libido. We all know babies like a bounce in the stroller so it’s a good excuse to get out of the house too!

You likely won’t get your period for some time after you give birth - especially if you’re breastfeeding. However, if you’re worried about where your period has gone, eating these Flo-centric foods, will bring it back when it’s the right time.

Motherhood & Moods

Here’s another reason why nutrient-dense food is essential postpartum: You need to give your brain the building blocks for mood-stabilizing neurotransmitters.

• Protein, complex carbohydrates and good fats are essential during this time.
• Calcium and magnesium, B vitamins, and Omega 3’s are safe supplements to take while breastfeeding.

Although clinical postpartum depression can be a real problem for some women that requires treatment by a doctor, there are mood changes across a spectrum that impact yet more women - including mild and subclinical postpartum depression and anxiety.

Focusing on food and getting the necessary micronutrients in your body will help prevent many of the most common mood changes that occur postpartum for the majority of women. Of course, other factors can be compounding - poor sleep, lack of childcare support, work demands etc - but you will be better prepared to face these challenges if you have a strong food foundation.

I highly recommend the book “The First Forty Days”  as an excellent resource on postpartum nourishment to enhance your health, physical and mental, as well as that of your baby. I like to call this approach an “active recovery” – instead of assuming and hoping your body will spring back or assuming and hoping that once you’re physically healed that the work is done, know that you have to be active in your post-birth recovery every single day. Don’t see it as an additional responsibility, see it as something you’re doing to take care of yourself and, as such, excel at taking care of your child.

Motherhood & Sex Drive

Sex drive is complex in women, but it can be broken down into elements that you can improve and boost to get the libido you want! First is the hormonal component: the estrogen/progesterone/testosterone blend. Then there’s the adrenal component. Both of these elements can be improved with food and some strategic supplements.To get you started, take these recommendations:

• Begin taking daily a B-complex vitamin and vitamin C – both help heal the adrenals.
• Try to eat poached eggs a few times a week – the yolk helps boost progesterone levels naturally and this can offset higher levels of estrogen that might make you feel less in the mood.

The other issue of course is the reality of motherhood, the strain on your time, the free space in your mind, and your own relationship with your changed body.

• I would definitely recommend one session per week of self pleasuring (no vibrators!) – give yourself 20 minutes to feel pleasurable touch as it boosts oxytocin and nitric oxide levels both which can help you recover your libido. Try my 5Cs of self-pleasure to get yourself there.

Remember to feed yourself super nutrient dense foods and spend a little time with yourself and you WILL get your sex drive turned back on in no time.

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‍Here’s a little mama blessing for you and for your new baby: ‍

All is Well. Everything is conspiring for your highest good. Only good things are coming to you now. You are safe. You are loved.

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Always remember, that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health choices that finally start to work for you! You can do this – the science of your body is on your side!

To your FLO,

Alisa