How to Self Pleasure (Your Health Depends on It!)

Ladies, It’s time to take masturbation into your own hands...literally!

Yep, that’s right, today we’re talking about how you give yourself self pleasure—and why that matters so much for your hormonal health.

Now you might be thinking, Alisa, c’mon! How much difference can masturbtion really make in solving my period problems?! I mean, I believe in supplements. I know nutrition matters, but how I self pleasure? I’m skeptical.

‍Well, get ready to become a true believer! Yes, food, lifestyle, and supplements all play a big role in hormonal health, but so does orgasm—specifically the slow-build orgasms you can have when you use your hands to get yourself off.

Let’s get this self-pleasure party started by looking at the research on orgasm. I’m not lying when I say that the science is solidly on your side when it comes to having more orgasms. After I lay out all the juicy science on the benefits of orgasm, I explain why using your hands for self pleasure—and skipping the vibrator—will net you even bigger health benefits.

The Benefits of Orgasm

Some of the studies cited below involved partnered sex, but they speak to the general health benefits of sexual activity and orgasm. (And in the next section, I’ll get into the specific benefits of manual masturbation.)

• Women who engage in sexual activity at least once each week are more likely to have regular menstrual cycles.
• Sexual activity can help grow new brain cells and reduce anxiety. (In other words, sex can make you smarter and calmer!)
• Sexual activity supports a healthy immune system
• Regular sexual activity helps you look younger. Research suggests that getting it on three times a week in a can make you look 10 years younger.
• Sexual activity may help ease migraine headaches.
• Orgasm can boost lymphatic circulation, helping your body’s natural detoxification process to improve digestion and mood and support optimal immunity. (This study was done on men, but women may experience the same increase lymphatic circulation.)
• Sexual activity may help protect women from cardiovascular risk later in life.
• Sexual activity Increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, which is linked to passion, intuition, and social skills—the hormone of bonding and success!

But Not All Orgasms Are Created Equal...

...and that’s why it matters how you give yourself pleasure.

Using vibrators to self-pleasure might seem like the easiest way to reach orgasm, but these powerful sex toys rob you of some of the benefits of orgasm. Sure, they can feel good and get the job done fast, but you will miss out on some major health benefits.

To understand why, it’s important to know the four stages of sexual response first identified by pioneering scientists Masters & Johnson in the 1960s. I outline them in detail in my book, WomanCode, and here’s a quick review:

‍Initial arousal: This is the excitement phase, lasting anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. Sex organs become engorged with blood and glands in the vaginal walls secrete lubricating liquid to make you feel wet.

‍Plateau: This is a continuation of arousal, when tissues continue to swell and your breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure continue to rise.

‍Orgasm: At the moment of orgasm, vaginal lubrication increases, muscles in vaginal wall constrict, and overall pleasure increases. If you climax (which is not always a given), you’ll experience quick cycles of contractions in your pelvic floor muscles.

‍Resolution: After climax, your muscles relax and your body releases from its aroused state.When you use a vibrator, you skip most of the Plateau stage and move directly to climax. This means you’re also missing out on some of the most hormonally-healthy chemicals your body produces during this Plateau phase! So what exactly are you missing out on when you use a vibrator?

1. You miss the benefits of nitric oxide and oxytocin. Using a vibrator forces your body to bypass a large part of the plateau and orgasm phases, which cuts down on your exposure to oxytocin and nitric oxide. These natural chemicals provide you with better immunity, improved cervical mucus, and regular ovulation patterns. They also have anti-aging benefits!
2. You limit your orgasmic potential. Quick, vibrator-induced orgasms lengthen what we call the refractory period between orgasms. This means the sensitive nerve endings get fried by the strong vibrations, so you have to wait longer until you’re ready again for your next orgasm. Essentially, this means you can only have one orgasm at a time, maybe two if you’re lucky.
3. You don’t get as much stress reduction. A big benefit of sex is stress relief, but when you skip the orgasmic plateau, your body doesn’t get a chance to fully flush the cortisol from your system. Cortisol is your main stress hormone, but it also plays a big role in blood sugar regulation and fat storage. That means the more cortisol in your body, the likelier you are to experience big blood sugar swings and store excess fat around your waist.

A better way to Self Pleasure

So, Alisa, what do I do without my vibrator?

‍So glad you asked!

First of all, be sure you’re setting aside at least 20 minutes for your self-pleasuring sessions. You need the gift of time to maximize your pleasure. What we see in pornography of instant climax is not based on any biological reality. You deserve not only to have great orgasms, but to take all the time you need to achieve them solo or with a partner.

To make this even easier, time your sessions during ovulation and the first half of the luteal phase to take advantage of your estrogen and testosterone peak for a pleasure boost.

Next, be sure to use lubricant – Aloe Cadabra and Sustain lube are my favorites. When you’re using your hands to get the party started, you’ll need to be lubricated, but you don’t want to put liquid plastics (silicone based lubes) on your lady parts.

Then take it slow, use your hands, and let them go wherever feels good. Think of your pleasure potential on a scale of 1-10, 10 being climax. Explore getting yourself to an 8 and hang out there for as long as you can to build all the nitric acid and oxytocin you can. It’s this phase that is the most health beneficial and the part that is typically bypassed when using vibrators.

I think you’ll be amazed at what happens to your orgasmic experience when you go au natural.

But, Alisa, Help! I Don’t Feel Like Getting Off At All—Even By Myself

So you want to get the health benefits of orgasm, but your sex drive has disappeared? Even solo, you just never feel in the mood?

You’re not alone. Sex drive can disappear at any age for any number of reasons: a stressful job, emotional stress, exhaustion (from taking care of a new baby or just from life), the onset of perimenopause, or taking the birth control pill (yes, the pill can zap your sex drive).

Restoring sex drive requires a multipronged approach, starting with nutrition and lifestyle. It’s also important to take stock of your relationships and the emotional aspects of low energy and low libido. But when your sex drive has disappeared completely, you need tools that will fasttrack your healing. Getting initial relief from symptoms will keep you motivated to make the other important self-care choices that will bring your sexy back.

‍Supplements are a brilliant way to kickstart your libido and start noticing changes fast. Here are the five you should have on hand to help get you in the mood:

1. B Vitamins prevent the breakdown of too much dopamine and serotonin during stressful times, leaving enough for you to remain buoyant and energized.
2. Zinc helps boost testosterone production — and testosterone boosts sex drive.
3. Magnesium makes it harder for your testosterone to bind onto proteins and allows for more of it to remain “free” in your bloodstream...which is exactly how you want it to be for a higher sex drive. More free testosterone means more desire. Magnesium also combats anxiety and may help with mild depression.
4. Omega-3 fatty acids help balance out your progesterone and estrogen levels, which in turn will increase dopamine—which will, in turn, help you produce more nitric oxide. This is absolutely essential for the dilation of blood vessels and tumescence that leads to bigger and better orgasms.
5. Probiotics may not directly affect your sex hormones, but they do impact your mental health, which—as you already know—directly affects your sex drive. Studies have linked psychiatric disorders like depression to imbalanced gut bacteria and probiotics can help restore microbiome balance.