If your sex life leaves you wanting, you’re in good company. A 2015 study found that over half of all women described their sex life as unfulfilling, and Americans — specifically young Americans — are having less sex than previous generations. I talk with women everyday, both clients and friends, who describe low libido and trouble with orgasm like it is a fact of life. Why are Americans, and particularly women, experiencing such dissatisfaction in their sex lives? The reasons are many, from relational problems to the demands and stresses of modern life (which have only increased during the pandemic), and the solutions are just as wide-ranging. Sometimes it requires working on our relationships; sometimes it requires looking at our work-life balance. Often it requires both.
But a big contributing factor for women in their reproductive years is lack of knowledge about the infradian rhythm, or the 28-day hormone cycle we experience each month. The infradian rhythm modulates sexual desire and response across the menstrual cycle. The more you know about the infradian rhythm, the better sex you can have. Women also experience four distinct stages of arousal, and the more you know about each stage, the better orgasms you can have. For a deeper dive, check out chapter 8 of In the FLO.
There are two steps to biohacking your orgasm:
Step 1 - Learn how to get and stay in orgasmic plateau for as long as possible
Step 2 - Identify which phase of the cycle you're in so you can provide yourself with the hacks you need to achieve orgasmic plateau in each phase successfully.
The first step in having a more fulfilling sex life is understanding the mechanics of the arousal process. When you understand the four distinct phases of arousal, you’re better able to biohack your sexual response and experience better, more consistent pleasure.
The first stage of arousal: Tumescence
The first stage of arousal is called tumescence. It’s when you experience the tingly sensation of wanting to have sex. Here’s what’s happening inside your body during tumescence: your heart races and blood rushes to your clitoris. You also experience vaginal lubrication and increased blood flow to the breasts and nipples. During certain phases of your cycle, including this one, it can take longer for this initial arousal process to kick in (which we will talk more about in a minute), and you can take extra steps to help your body along during those phases.
The Second Stage of Arousal: Orgasmic Plateau
Levels of dopamine and epinephrine increase and the pleasure centers in your brain light up like a Christmas tree. Meanwhile, activity goes down in the brain regions associated with anxiety. Your clitoris becomes more sensitive and your brain sends signals to your muscles telling them to contract. Climax is where your body is headed, and your body is getting ready for that. But don’t rush the process. Extending the orgasmic plateau helps your body release stress hormones and triggers other health benefits, like improved immune function. Spending more time in the plateau stage can also lead to a more powerful orgasm. I recommend trying to spend close to 20 minutes in this stage once or twice a week.
The Third Stage of Arousal: Climax
This stage is brief but powerful! It’s when your brain produces a rush of feel-good neurochemicals that make your whole body tingle. If you are having sex with a partner, those same chemicals will increase your feelings of connectedness with that person. Your muscles contract and relax This lasts a short time, but it electrifies the nerve endings in your clitoris and feels fantastic.
The Fourth Stage of Arousal: Refractory Period
This stage is when your body starts to come back to baseline. Your physiological systems slow back down and most people feel relaxed and connected.
The next step in biohacking your way to more pleasure is to understand how your hormones change over the course of your infradian rhythm, or the 28-day hormone cycle your body moves through every month. As your hormones shift and change each month, it affects your cognitive function, energy, mood, and libido, as well as how you experience the four stages of arousal. Many women think that, if it is taking them longer than usual to climax or to get in the mood, there is something wrong with them. That’s not the case! How long it takes for your body to feel ready for sex depends on which phase of your cycle you’re in. The more you know about the phases of your cycle, the more you can work with your body to experience more pleasure.
FOLLICULAR
OVULATORY
LUTEAL
MENSTRUAL
If your sex life has become lackluster, or if you’ve always suspected that you could be experiencing more sexual pleasure, use this cyclical knowledge to biohack your orgasm. Orgasm is good for your health: it helps balance hormones and flush the stress hormone cortisol. It is also good for your quality of life. And if you want to learn even more about sex and your cycle, check out my latest book In the Flo.
Always remember that once you have the right information about how your body really works, you can start making health choices that finally start to work for you! You can do this – the science of your body is on your side!
Explore the Store
Reduce Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) symptoms like painful periods, weight gain, acne breakouts, and unwanted hair with Restore, our PCOS supplement kit.
Optimize your fertility and get your body baby-ready with Nurture, our therapeutic-grade fertility supplement kit.
Support whole-body hormonal balance and regular, PMS-free periods with these five essential micronutrient formulations, designed to be taken simultaneously every day.
Explore the Store
Support whole-body hormonal balance and regular, PMS-free periods with these five essential micronutrient formulations, designed to be taken simultaneously every day.
Feel better and perform more effectively when you support your hormonal health during every phase of your cycle.
A revolutionary roadmap for women to help balance their hormones and care for their bodies, so they can feel their best all month long with Cycle Syncing®.
For those struggling with absent or infrequent periods, heavy bleeding, and other more intense menstrual symptoms
Read Woman CodeFor those struggling with absent or infrequent periods, heavy bleeding, and other more intense menstrual symptoms
Read In the FloAlisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
“MyFLO has been a true game changer for me and my cycle. I now have an increased awareness of my body's needs throughout the month.”
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
“MyFLO has completely transformed my relationship with my cycle. I am sleeping through the night, intuitively managing my stress, and eating with my cycle.”
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
“I use MyFLO every day to track my cycle and symptoms. I've managed to significantly reduce PMS symptoms like breast tenderness, and my cycle length has gone down from 40 days to 30 days.”
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Boost micronutrient levels
Manage blood sugar
Reduce stress
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
"My period was missing for 3 years after getting off birth control. MonthlyFLO helped me finally get my period back.”
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
I feel more empowered to understand my body and heal my hormones. I no longer accept the patriarchal dismissal and confusion about the female cycle”
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
“I got my period back after 15 years! Thank all of you for your support. I'm just so grateful!”
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
“FLO Living has seriously changed my life. It gave me the courage and bravery to get off of birth control, and completely changed my outlook on health. I look and feel better than I ever have in my life”
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Detox estrogen
Reduce inflammatory foods
Improve elimination
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Boost progesterone production
Support estrogen elimination with dietary changes
Replenish micronutrients
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Stabilize blood sugar
Reduce Androgens
Restore ovulation
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Detox estrogen
Improve bowel movements
Reduce inflammation
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Manage blood sugar
Address micronutrient deficiencies
Restore ovulation
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Detox chemical stress
Micronutrients to boost egg quality
Reduce inflammation
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Stabilize blood sugar
Detox chemical stress
Targeted micronutrients to support ovulation
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Micronutrients to boost egg quality
Reduce inflammation
Support immune function of uterus
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Implement Cycle Syncing ®
Detox chemical stress
Boost micronutrient levels
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Manage blood sugar
Detox estrogen
Boost progesterone production
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Stabilize blood sugar
Reduce stress
Boost energy
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Cycle Syncing® Food & Workouts
Stabilize blood sugar
Restore Micronutrients
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Cycle Syncing® Food & Workouts
Boost progesterone production
Support estrogen elimination
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Cycle Syncing® Food & Workouts
Micronutrients to boost egg quality
Reduce inflammation
Alisha A / 46 years old
Flo Care Plan
Cycle Syncing® Food & Workouts
Boost progesterone production
Increase micronutrient levels